I’m finding that my patience with hitchhiking is fading. More often, I just want to walk than wait at the onramp.  Yesterday I walked 5 miles to I-95 from my friend Matt’s house. I then spent three hours just talking to friends on the phone in the parking lot of a gas station.  I was also just unable to decide which direction I wanted to go. No real plans, nothing to do, nothing that’s falling into my lap.

I stood at the onramp going north for a while, maybe an hour, then an hour on the southbound ramp, then I got called by Mary out in Oregon, a really awesome friend. I’m going to head out there, are it seems like there should is lots of stuff I can do, but I wish that there were things on this coast that I can really sink my teeth into.  But I really have to go out and find it. Also, If only I could figure out the best way to balance out my laziness and fear.  My dad hasn’t helped with his pushing for me to settle down and make babies, and even though he’s halfjoking, I still don’t enjoy the weight of it.  I just want to be at a place where I don’t feel like I’m taking advantage of people, but also where I don’t have to earn money.  And yet, the thought of staying in one place feels like a hot breath on the back of my neck.

Mary told me of a couple really interesting projects they’re working on out there, and I really am excited to get out there again, eventually. It feels like it’s going to be harder this time around though, probably because of the heat.  It was easy to find a secure camp spot of to the side of the on-ramp because of all the tree cover. Just as I settled in to sleep. Wil called me and we talked for another twenty minutes or so, he updated me about his business that he’s starting up on his own, and that’s pretty exciting.  He’s always been charismatic enough to make lots of money and I wish him the best, hopefully we’ll keep in contact when he’s all well-off so I can cricket at him from time to time.

Sleep was filled with conflict imagery.

Easy living for the past couple months has turned my body soft, and I feel it. I was only able to really walk ten miles today.  After I woke up, I just started walking down route 40 towards Havre De Grace.  And being in Harrisburg made me feel really depressed, and while I enjoyed my time in Elkton, I also was pretty depressed while there as well.  Harrisburg’s capitol police had shiny new black cruisers, but the Allison Hill area, just had an oppressed feeling about it.  It was even more a squalor than I remember it being, with piles of garbage on the streets and so much gunfire at night.  The place downtown where my friends live, while cleaner, they said that the rate of violent crime has jumped in the past couple years.

Around noon my pocket started buzzing, it was Grace.  Our conversation at least gave me a direction to travel in, hopefully I’ll make it to Ashville in time, I can see slow going around here in Maryland because of the density of population and while that might mean more chances to get a ride, I’ve noticed an increase in mistrust.  Everyone whom I’ve talked to, keeps warning me that there are crazies out there, and I just want to shake them and say, stop that.  Or, if I am feeling snarky, ‘no more crazy than you are’.

Ron, a networking engineer for the military, picked me up in a shiny brown truck.  He was maybe in his mid fifties and wore a red and yellow hawaiin shirt.  He said that he was only going to perrysville, and I ask if he could drop me off a little bit further in Havre De Grace, because the bridges over the river were most definitely not pedestrian friendly, I remembered this from the Occupy the Highway march.  The conversation stiltedly floated from what he does for a living, to my trumpet, to what I do.  I told him about the activist things that I do, and he got real quiet. I asked him what he thought of the issues.  “I think you’re all wasting your time, but you’re young and still idealistic so I say go for it.”

My response could have been, “Well, if things don’t change soon, there won’t be enough fresh water for everyone, and then not enough food.  The climate is heating up, and our way of life as it is will change drastically if we don’t change it ourselves to more sustainable methods.” But that’s just L’ esprit De L’escalier.

What I actually said was, “Fair enough.”

He then went on to warn me about being careful and the crazies, I didn’t shake him nor do I shout at him, just cordially thanked him for the few miles, and walked on to Aberdeen.  I spent some time in the library, charging my tablet, and enjoying the bliss of the air-conditioning because the sun was just nearly unbearable. It was a short visit because the library was closing, so I walked to the fast food joint near the next onramp to the interstate.Now, waiting until I have a full charge, and then I will probably find a camping spot and see if I can’t set out early tomorrow.